book recommendations

Quickie Critique: 'Head Hunter' by Alexis Angel

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As someone who reviews cheap romance novels, I can’t help but love a freebie. And podcast fave Alexis Angel was happy to oblige. 

The Mayor of Naughtywood (Alexis, I hope you appreciate this nickname) blessed me with ‘Head Hunter: A Virgin Billionaire Reverse Romance’ ($2.99). I had fun reading it, and here’s my review.

Lights… Cameras…But sorry, folks… There’s NO ACTION!

Carter Blaine is the star of this reality show called ‘Head Hunter’. The premise is that he’s a 26-year-old virgin and if he can avoid having (p-in-v) sex until marriage, he gets two billion dollars. Now, despite Carter’s interest in having your classic p-in-v, he’s managing just fine with the other orifices that are presenting themselves to him. But still there’s that part of him (namely his p) that longs for that beautiful nurturing body part (the v.) To up the ante, a professional seductress Ashley is called in to use her feminine wiles to make Carter cave. But there’s just one complication — LOVE.

The book cover works. The stock photo model DEFINITELY looks like a reality star so that’s a plus. His tattoo is very intense, but again, maybe that adds to the reality star charm. 

Look, I will say that the premise is the least outrageous part of this book. With the warped ‘Black Mirror’ reality that our world is headed toward, the idea of a reality show about a virgin avoiding vaginal intercourse is conceivable and probably in development. 

But I will say what really amused me is how unbelievably confident the characters are. Carter literally refers to himself as “alpha” and Ashley doesn’t hesitate to refer to her chest as her “large perky breasts.” 

(I guess if you ever want to have a confrontation with someone and really throw them off, start the convo by saying, “I have something I need to get off my large perky breasts.”)

But again, the sophomoric writing style of Alexis Angel really hits the spot if you’re into that thing. And boy did she get clever with the restrictions that the premise itself presents. I could’ve done without a long scene involving inanimate sex toys, but there were hot parts that some of you would get a kick out of. And for the rest of you? Pick up something else. And whatever that something else is, it’s literally the Bible compared to 'Head Hunter'. 

My rating: Hard B


Book Recommendation - "Restart Me Up"

Enjoy listening to guest Lesley Tsina on the latest episode of Too Stupid Live? Then I definitely recommend reading her book, Restart Me Up: The Unauthorized, Un-Accurate Oral History of Windows 95. It is, dare I say, laugh-out-loud hilarious. 

Here's the description:

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Celebrate the 20th anniversary of the greatest technological achievement known to mankind: Windows 95. (With all due respect, the telephone and nuclear fission can suck it.) This is the untold, unbelievable, largely untrue story of the creation of Windows 95. Go behind the system and meet those who made it all possible: the beleaguered programmers who became addicted to snorting Pixy Stix, the marketers who employed mass hypnosis tactics to trick the press, the violent battle to squash a literal giant bug in the code, the focus group idiots who only cared about getting pizza for lunch, and "mighty god" Bill Gates, who engaged in a money suitcase stand-off with Mick Jagger over the rights to "Start Me Up." It's the story of how a tiny operating system patch became a multinational, mundane media phenomenon.